Simplify Sunday- Women and Friendship

birthday partyI’ve been feeling very introspective this week. I am prone to anxiety and over thinking things, so I try to focus my attention on the now, rather than the past or the future. However, sometimes living an intentional life means self examination.

Last week I mentioned that my favorite part of My 35 Project has been pushing myself to really connect with my loved ones. That’s still true. It has changed my perspective, and reminded me that it’s not selfish to take time out to nurture my friendships and relationships with my family. It’s actually what life is about, the core of it all. It’s easy to feel over scheduled and like spending time doing something for yourself is low priority, but it isn’t.

I was looking through the pictures on my laptop, and found this photo from my 30th birthday. Four years later, I am still very close to all of these girls, and I am so thankful for that. There are a couple of my girls that were missing that night, but they are the core of my support system 🙂 When thinking about what I want to be, what I want my life to mean, et cetera; being a good friend to those I love is near the top of the list.

However, the realization that I have come to through all of this retrospection is that I also need to be my own friend. I need to prioritize myself, and love myself the way I would a friend. This is next to impossible for me, because I judge myself nine ways to Sunday. It’s been said over and over, but it’s so easy to be your own harshest critic. WHY? Don’t we have the rest of the world to judge us? Who is going to love us most, if not ourselves? This week I am vowing to be my own friend and show myself some love and understanding. The most simple concepts can be the absolute hardest, and I think that’s why I struggle with this. I can and will do better.


The 12th Man -or- When Non Football Fans Prepare for Superbowl

Seahawks manicureI changed the name to protect the naive before I took this screenshot 🙂 These are the messages I had on my phone this morning when I came out of a meeting. I nearly fell over laughing.

For those who can’t see the picture, first we have a picture of a blue manicure. One nail has the number 12 on it. Then we have two messages:

I got my nails redone for Jordan!

Which player is number 12? She already did it when I noticed and I didn’t want to complain….. I hope it’s the one he likes

I think this is fantastic for many reasons. First of all, as a huge football fan, it greatly amuses me that she has no idea that the number 12 represents the Seahawks fan. However, it’s much more than that.

She doesn’t like football AT ALL. This year, she has reluctantly decided to take a bit (very little bit, obviously) of interest for two reasons. One, I gave her a big pep talk about how since she loves both drinking and eating snacks, she really needed to reconsider football. Even if she wasn’t interested, it’s a great excuse to drink at any hour on Sunday and eat whatever you want. That peaked her interest.

The real motivator though, is she has a boyfriend that she really cares about. She wants to take an interest in what he loves, just like he does for her. So, football it is. Lucky for him, his team made the Superbowl. Unlucky for me… no. Never mind. I can’t even talk about the Packers right now.

I love that we can all come together for the tradition of Superbowl. Most of us are watching, whether we care about football or not. We’re all hanging out and enjoying each other with talking, laughing, and eating. We’re learning new things, like why the heck someone would paint the number 12 on our nails when we just asked for a Seahawks manicure. Do I love when people are talking during the game because they think the real show is commercials? NO! But at least for one day, we can all enjoy it together; and no one will tell me to turn off the tv.

Who’s ready for Superbowl Sunday?!?!


The Song that Always Gives Me a Pick Me Up

Jillian and GrandmaI think it’s a generally acknowledged fact that most women have trouble feeling beautiful, confident, and content with their appearance. We all wish it didn’t have to be that way. We are all beautiful, inside and out. Try as I might, I still struggle with it almost every day. I do have a go to song by india.arie that always inspires me to try harder to relax and trust myself. I have been listening to this song for probably 10 or 15 years. Warning: I wrote down these lyrics, so they may not be 100% correct.

“Video” by india.arie

Sometimes I shave my legs and sometimes I don’t
Sometimes I comb my hair and sometimes I won’t
Depending how the wind blows I might even paint my toes
It really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul

I’m not the average girl from your video
And I ain’t built like a supermodel
But I learned to love myself unconditionally,
Because I am a queen I’m not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I’m wearing I will always be india.arie

When I look in the mirror the only one there is me
Every freckle on my face is where it’s supposed to be
And I know my creator didn’t make no mistakes on me
My feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes, I’m loving what I see


Am I less of a lady if I don’t wear pantyhose?
My momma said a lady ain’t what she wears but what she knows
But I’ve drawn the conclusion, it’s all an illusion
Confusion’s the name of the game
A misconception, a vast deception,
Something’s got to change

Now don’t be offended this is all my opinion
Ain’t nothing that I’m saying law
This is a true confession of a life learned lesson
I was sent here to share with y’all
So get in when you fit in
Go on and shine
Clear your mind
Now’s the time
Put your salt on the shelf
Go on and love yourself
‘Cause everything’s gonna be alright


Keep your fancy drinks, and your expensive minks
I don’t need that to have a good time
Keep your expensive cars and your caviar
All’s I need is my guitar

Keep your crystal and your pistol
I’d rather have a pretty piece of crystal
Don’t need you silicone, I prefer my own
What God gave me is just fine

Hear it here on BET

Buy it here on Amazon

Don’t you love it when music makes you feel good? I wish there were more artists out there making music that inspires women to be themselves and be happy with who they are.