Bento Box Lunches 

October 30, 2017 5 Comments

Open bento box with spoonSurprising no one, I am still trying to lose weight. Hey, why not make that my comeback post?!

I’m tired of being hard on myself. It’s a struggle for me, trying to be positive. I easily slide into negative thoughts about my weight, self worth, what others think of me. Soooooo pointless.

Last month I went to Cabo (actually, I will post pictures soon, it was so pretty!) and I realized that I freaking love cheese plates and snacks. You know what snacks are? Reasonable portions for actual meals! I don’t know if I am some kind of super weirdo for not realizing this sooner (see?!? I’m being negative again! Gah!), but suddenly my brain said “hey, just put snack food together for a meal, and you’ll feel like you’re splurging”.

I bought this adorable bento box, and I think it was money well spent. I have so much fun packing my lunches.

Open bento box

(Veggie wrap, cucumber, quinoa salad, plum)

Closed bento box
(Water crackers, hummus, feta, plum, tomato, and Field Roast)

Do you have any diet tips that are actually fun? Have you tried a bento box?

Jillian

 

Filed Under: Annual Goals, Weigh In Wednesday Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

My 35 Project- Update

January 12, 2016 2 Comments

img_2781-1Last year on my birthday, I started a project- 35 things to do before I turned 35. It was a mixed bag. I did have to make some alterations to the list after a big life change, but for the most part it remained the same throughout the year.

Things that went well:

The only category that I accomplished every single item was house/minimalism. I guess I should have seen that coming. I love to see clean, simple spaces. I also obsessively organize and discard things when I am stressed or anxious. Sometimes I see this as a bad thing, as I know it’s one of my biggest coping mechanisms. However, the fact is that I love the results. Until I started blogging, I didn’t really realize that minimalism was such a trend. This is probably the first time in my entire life that I have been trendy.

I loved having it be a priority to see people that I love and send mail. Sure, I wasn’t 100% successful on these, but it felt good to flat out tell myself that I “had” to do these things. Investing in relationships is the best thing that I can do for myself. My loved ones make life worth living. Sometimes it feels indulgent to be spending time being happy instead of doing chores. Could this philosophy be more dumb? Now that I have realized I feel that way, I can remind myself what I really want my life to be about. I also got to take a trip to Vermont to see a friend and meet her new baby, and spent time with my puppy taking her to classes.

Paying off my student loans was an incredible feeling. I literally cannot remember the time when I didn’t have this debt hanging over my head. It’s been so long. I feel like the world is at my fingertips. I’ve been putting so much money toward debt for so long, and this feels great! My goal for the next year is to save this money and build a “grown-up” emergency fund. The one I’ve had while paying off debt has never been very much. It has been able to cover my true emergencies, which I am very proud of, but I would like it to be enough to give me peace of mind.

I went to yoga less than half as much as I had intended. However, I’m still counting this as a win because I did find a yoga studio that I love. I also got a great deal on a membership ($29 a month, unlimited- normally $99). If I go once a week, my membership is still cheaper than paying per visit; and now I have no excuse not to go more. I can’t do yoga at home. I love the idea, but I will end up with two dogs on my head and then giving up and taking a nap.

Things that I learned:

I learned that I actually visit my grandparents more than I realized. There is a lot of guilt in my family about visiting grandparents, but meeting my goal of once a month was not hard at all. Most months it was more often. Tracking this made me feel like I’m not such a bad person, after all.

My blog energy definitely ebbs and flows more than I thought. My initial posting schedule (at least once a day) was just insane and definitely did not pan out. I didn’t want to post just to post, of course. Next year my goal will be once a week. If I do more, that’s great, but I don’t want to pressure myself.

I went to therapy for several months. Therapy is something that is brutally hard for me, because I am not good at opening up on a deep level. I do see the irony of this, given my blog and all. This helped me make some very tough decisions, and I am grateful that I pushed myself to be introspective. It hurts, but sometimes life does. Ya know?

Things that didn’t go so well:

Weight loss was a total fail, no way around it. I actually weigh more than when I started. I wish I could change my thinking to remember that this truly is a health and quality of life issue.

My exercise goals completely tanked. I managed to work out four times a week… well. It’s just embarrassing. You can check for yourself if you want. I lowered my goal to twice a week for next year. I feel like that’s so low it’s not worth doing, but I know that is a defeatist attitude and one that I don’t want to have. If I feel I can’t reach the entire goal, I tend to do nothing. I want to learn that doing something in a less extreme manner is still okay and worth doing.

I am going to be doing a list of 36 things to do before I turn 36. This list will be more oriented toward things that I enjoyed this year, and experiences that I want to have. Is anyone else doing a list?

Jillian

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Weigh In Wednesday- Starting Over

March 25, 2015 26 Comments

ugh This is my “I know how ridiculous I am, I just don’t know what to do about it- so sue me” face.

I have no motivation to lose weight. Last week I pre-empted Weigh In Wednesday for the Five Photos, Five Stories Challenge. I wasn’t exactly sad, as I had no real update.

What I do have, is buckets of body shaming that I pour upon myself.

Here is the only step I can truly say I have taken and kept up on the last few weeks- walking more. I have a fitbit, and I have been getting more motivated to step it up 🙂 Anyone else who has a fitbit should let me know so we can compete!

Riley got out of the house the other day and I had to run after her. I absolutely could not hack it. I am so out of shape. I never got the personal trainer that I swore I needed, but I did research it last night.

The community center that is half a mile from my house offers six sessions for $210! I am definitely calling today on my lunch break, and I will post an update once I do- since I clearly can’t get myself together!

I know that is the first step and I’m so mad at myself for not taking it. Today is the day that I will stop apologizing and start doing.

Jillian

Filed Under: Annual Goals, Health and Fitness, Weigh In Wednesday Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Weigh In Wednesday- Personal Training 

February 25, 2015 24 Comments

IMG_9073The only time I’ve truly successfully lost weight and kept it off for any amount of time was when I worked with a personal trainer. I know this, and even so I have a hard time getting a personal trainer.

A view inside my head: “it’s so expensive! There is absolutely no reason I can’t do this myself. I do not need to spend this much money on something that I can do myself. Plus, I’m embarrassed to admit to a stranger that I’m fat.” Et cetera, et cetera.

Now, is this positive self talk? Or even true? NO. I have no idea why I talk to myself this way, and I’m not allowed to anymore- I’m supposed to be positive. This means that I have to start by admitting I won’t do it myself. I didn’t get this way because I could do it myself. I need help. The money is real, but I think it makes sense to spend it on that instead of clothes and eating out. As for admitting that I’m overweight and need help- that isn’t easy for me either, but, umm… People have eyes. I don’t think any of this is actually a secret.

I’ve posted before that I bought a three pack of personal training sessions. I’ve used two of them, and the last one is this Saturday. Here is where I’m deciding that I need to buy more. It’s forcing me to work out once a week, and makes me want to do more in between so I look like I’m trying when I see the trainer.

She pushes me to do more than I ever would on my own, and I’m sore all the time. I like being sore, because it reminds me to make better choices. Work out more, eat less garbage, do some yoga to stretch it out 🙂

Does anyone else do personal training? Or have a way I can get my butt to the gym and not pay a personal trainer? I think maybe I’ll look around and see if I can get a better deal somewhere else.

If anyone is keeping track, my weigh in this week is still pretty stable, but down a bit from last week. I am down 4.8 pounds since January. I am not going to say anything negative about that, even though I want to!!

Jillian

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Weigh In Wednesday- Sun Bear Edition

February 18, 2015 18 Comments

sun bearMy weight is still stable this week.

I went to the zoo over the weekend, and I saw this Sun Bear. Poor Sun Bear! He had too many cocktails last night, or maybe just didn’t stick to his diet very well. 🙂 He is obviously my spirit animal, so I had to take a ton of pictures. I know exactly how he feels.

Sometimes I just want to give up on myself. EVERY DAY I continue to indulge in something that I meant not to.

However, unlike the bear, I have freedom. I can make my own choices, go where I want, do what I want. I want to start viewing my health like I view my budget. I love having a budget for my money, because it allows me to see exactly where I have room to splurge. I have $50 extra dollars, I can choose where to put it and that gives me freedom.

So… I’m proposing that I (we? who’s on board) use that freedom with my lifestyle change. If I mess up in one way, I give up and do everything wrong. THAT’S TERRIBLE! If I did that with my budget, I would probably be homeless or in jail. If I want to not work out, I can’t have a drink. If I want a drink, I can’t chase it with chocolate. See what I mean? I know what this is- it is moderation. The very thing that people have been preaching at me my whole life, and I haven’t found. Now is the time.

Does anyone have any help for me? I think Nike’s slogan is all I really need here 🙂

Jillian

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Weigh In Wednesday- a Cleanse

February 11, 2015 8 Comments

cleanseWarning: if cleanses or detoxes of any sort may trigger you, this would be a great time to stop reading this and go to the Shiba category and look at cute animals!

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I wanted to do a cleanse, but not a full on one because those turn me into a crazy person. I think it’s a little beyond my mental capacity right now. My real goal is to get myself off sugar. Every time I eat something with very much sugar I feel like garbage, but I can’t stop eating it! There’s always chocolate at work, J keeps sugary snacks at home- and I have no self control even though I know it makes me feel gross.

The guidelines of my cleanse are no added sugar (fruit is okay), no alcohol, no caffeine, and extra fruits and veggies. I already don’t eat meat, and I limit dairy and eggs. I’m doing smoothies at work, because I need to go cold turkey if I’m going to get off this sugar habit. Basically, I’m doing a cleanse like BluePrint, but I’m making up my own rules and not spending $65 a day (I’m sure they’re lovely people, but come on. really?!). I’m also doing smoothies instead of juice because for me, cutting the fiber out of my food seems silly. I don’t understand why people drink juice and laxative tea, when they could just leave the fiber in their juice… anyway, I’m digressing. So I made three smoothies on Sunday night, roughly following this recipe. I used mostly spinach, with banana, cherries, and water. Then I made two protein shake/smoothies. I used half water and half unsweetened coconut milk, plus one serving of protein powder and 2/3 cup of mango. This is what I had throughout the day on Monday, though I didn’t drink the third green smoothie. Then I ate a normal dinner, but without dessert or alcohol. I did the same thing yesterday. It has been hard to resist sweets, but it’s easier for me when I flat out tell myself it IS NOT an option. I will continue for a week or until I start to feel like I will drown in smoothies. I think that a week is a good goal. I actually started on Sunday, so I just have to make it through Saturday! After three days of this, I am still very close to last week’s weight. This is probably good, I am filling my body with nutrients and not losing water weight.

I had my first (of three) personal training sessions last night! She kept having to cancel, so I was really losing motivation. Now it’s back! It’s back because it was a wake up call in a big way. The set up was probably the worst possible scenario for someone that is seeking personal training because they are unhappy with their body. One wall is mirrors, two walls are floor windows that go to the parking lot and sidewalk. Anyone in the world can watch. I know that no one cares, but it’s still hard to not feel like you’re in a fishbowl. I also have been avoiding truly looking at my body, and the outfit I chose, the mirrors, and the lighting did not allow me to hide anymore.I need to get serious so I can feel better about myself, and feel better in general.

You may be wondering how my yoga is going. It’s not. I meant to start Sunday, but was so sick and slept for as much of the day as possible. Then Monday came and I remembered I had personal training Tuesday and wouldn’t be able to go Tuesday. Thus, I decided to start tonight so I can try to go seven days in a row. I really need to drag my slacker self over there. Part of it is anxiety- I hate going into a new class. The other part is I hate leaving Riley the puppy bear 🙂

Note: I use Arbonne protein powder (this is an affiliate link- if you buy this I will get a small percentage). It is vegan, gluten free, soy free, has no artificial sweeteners, and tastes like cake batter. I’ve only tried the vanilla, but it’s good with everything. Arbonne is one of those weird club things. If you or someone you know is in the club, you should definitely buy it from there because it’s cheaper. Sometimes I do that, but if I can’t get on board with someone else’s order I get it off Amazon. I thought I would mention it because it’s so hard to find vegan protein powder, and this is the only one I’ve ever liked. A lot of people like Sun Warrior, but I can’t stand it. It feels like sand in my mouth.

Happy Wednesday!

Jillian

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