How I Paint

painting by Jillian

I was listening to music in my room, when I realized that I had the perfect idea for the piece missing on my wall. I struggle with forgiveness, and really, mostly with forgetting. The quote “bitterness keeps you from flying” is from the Tim McGraw song “Humble and Kind.” I want to focus on happiness, love, and the present. I don’t want to waste any more time on the bad or bad memories. 

My bedroom wall has been empty for quite a while, and I wanted to paint something this year. I thought the clouds and sun would be pretty, and planned for a quote over the painting. I used an app (PhotoGrid) to decide how I wanted the letters before painting them on there. 

PhotoGrid apppainting mock up
My letters didn’t turn out quite like the app, but it works! Have you ever painted your own art for your place? It’s kind of a lot of pressure… I don’t love how it turned out, but I still like it. 

Jillian

Theory of Beauty 

 “I have this theory, that if we’re told we’re bad; then that’s the only idea we’ll ever have. Maybe if we are surrounded in beauty, one day we will become what we see.” Jewel “I’m Sensitive”

Throughout high school, college, and a few years after, I was obsessed with Jewel. I still kind of am, but I often forget she exists. Then I remember, and I go on Jewel listening binges. 

I love the lyrics to most of her songs, but “I’m Sensitive” has always stood out to me. Maybe because I am much more sensitive and easily wounded than I try to let on, but I also just love this idea of surrounding yourself with beauty. Let’s take that a step further- I want to help create that beauty for other people. 

How can I do that? Well… I could probably start with my attitude. I’m still working on that whole pessimism thing. And, let’s be honest, I should work on not being a bitch half the time! 

I think that seeing beauty in life is often just taking the time to slow down and appreciate. I feel life is beautiful when I spend time with those I love, go on a long walk, or go try something new. 

Does anyone have any suggestions? 

Jillian

The Song that Always Gives Me a Pick Me Up

Jillian and GrandmaI think it’s a generally acknowledged fact that most women have trouble feeling beautiful, confident, and content with their appearance. We all wish it didn’t have to be that way. We are all beautiful, inside and out. Try as I might, I still struggle with it almost every day. I do have a go to song by india.arie that always inspires me to try harder to relax and trust myself. I have been listening to this song for probably 10 or 15 years. Warning: I wrote down these lyrics, so they may not be 100% correct.

“Video” by india.arie

Sometimes I shave my legs and sometimes I don’t
Sometimes I comb my hair and sometimes I won’t
Depending how the wind blows I might even paint my toes
It really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul

[Chorus]
I’m not the average girl from your video
And I ain’t built like a supermodel
But I learned to love myself unconditionally,
Because I am a queen I’m not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I’m wearing I will always be india.arie

When I look in the mirror the only one there is me
Every freckle on my face is where it’s supposed to be
And I know my creator didn’t make no mistakes on me
My feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes, I’m loving what I see

[Chorus]

Am I less of a lady if I don’t wear pantyhose?
My momma said a lady ain’t what she wears but what she knows
But I’ve drawn the conclusion, it’s all an illusion
Confusion’s the name of the game
A misconception, a vast deception,
Something’s got to change

Now don’t be offended this is all my opinion
Ain’t nothing that I’m saying law
This is a true confession of a life learned lesson
I was sent here to share with y’all
So get in when you fit in
Go on and shine
Clear your mind
Now’s the time
Put your salt on the shelf
Go on and love yourself
‘Cause everything’s gonna be alright

[Chorus]

Keep your fancy drinks, and your expensive minks
I don’t need that to have a good time
Keep your expensive cars and your caviar
All’s I need is my guitar

Keep your crystal and your pistol
I’d rather have a pretty piece of crystal
Don’t need you silicone, I prefer my own
What God gave me is just fine

Hear it here on BET

Buy it here on Amazon

Don’t you love it when music makes you feel good? I wish there were more artists out there making music that inspires women to be themselves and be happy with who they are.

Jillian