We see so many posts about why your bartender hates you. As a “retired” bartender, I thought I would put my positive spin on it. You want your bartender to love you? Do this!

Also, maybe I’m supposed to put a disclaimer about drinking responsibly? *play nice, y’all. Don’t make me pull this car over.*

How to Make Friends With Your Bartender

1. Know what you want to drink, and have your money and ID ready. She has to check your ID. This is the law, it’s not a conspiracy. If you are underage and she gets caught serving you, she will never work in the industry again. No, really.
2. If you HAVE to ask her to recommend something, try to do it when there aren’t 18 people behind you- and give her something to go off of. Don’t just say you need a recommendation, then have her list off eight things and shoot them all down. Tell her you like rum and fruity flavors. Then she’ll be able to make you something fun that you will actually like.
3. If you’re going to open a tab, tip in cash on the first drink right then. This isn’t totally necessary, but it makes you look super cool and lets her know you do plan to tip her. She will remember and take care of you.
4. Absolutely do not hit on her while tipping her. She’s not a prostitute. She will be so creeped out.
5. Bring back your dirty glasses when you come for another round. She spends her life looking for glasses, and is happy to have them back. She can never find her bar back that was supposed to bring glasses. He’s probably either smoking out back or cleaning up whatever you did in the pool room.
6. If you want a strong drink, order a double. If you’re nice, maybe you’ll get the next one for the price of a single. You will not get a stronger drink by asking her to pour heavy. You will get a weaker drink.
7. Tell her your name every time you come back for another drink if you have a tab. She may remember, but maybe not. At the beginning of the night, everyone looks the same and she only knows your drink, not your name. If you keep telling her, it won’t be awkward and she will then remember because you made it easier.
8. Ask her how her night is going. MEAN IT. For extra points, mention the drunk girl in the corner that’s been giving her drama, or the old guy that keeps staring at her. Feel her pain. Remember, she’s the only sober one in the room (and she feels right now that she may be the only sober person in the world). She can tell if you’re faking it or not.
9. Say thank you. Again, mean it. It’s not a big deal, everyone can do this.
10. Have fun! The bartender is there to help you have a good time. If you’re happy (and you’re not being a douche!), she is probably happy and thinks you’re just great.

Hey, guess what?! It’s Friday Eve! Time to go out and practice these skills 🙂

Jillian