Questions to Ask When Looking For a Therapist 

I’m not sure if anyone has really noticed, but I’ve been pretty absent for a while now. I’ve been going through a rough patch, and honestly haven’t had the motivation to put myself out there much. However, I am strong and I have a lot of great support.

I have been working with a therapist, which I think I mentioned before. I was so nervous and intimidated about how to go about finding the right one. I started by checking out who was covered by my insurance, because that just made sense. I knew I wanted to see a woman, so that helped narrow it further. Then I looked at who was conveniently located, and who had availability after work. The last thing I needed was to take time off work once a week!

I also asked my awesome friend, who is a therapist herself, for some advice on how to choose. She gave me these GREAT questions to ask both the therapists I talked to and myself. My favorite part is that she also gave possible “right” answers to the questions. I wanted to share, just in case anyone else is considering therapy, and she gave me her permission.

For me, the first step of looking and calling was the very hardest. I’m not great at talking and honestly still dread going most weeks, but I always feel better after my sessions.

??????? For the therapist 

What theories/frameworks do you use? Why those theories and not others? (You’re looking for why they think it’s effective, not what they personally like.)

While researching about this, I found that there are so many new techniques and ideas. How do you stay abreast of all this knowledge (looking for “attending training, conferences, reading”)

What role do you think medication plays in mental health? (You’re looking for an answer like “it depends”. Some psychiatrists think “non-compliance” to medication regimens is tantamount to revolt)

I know everyone is different, but what is the time-range for this therapy to show effectiveness?

Have you treated anyone with issues similar to mine? What was the outcome? What ingredients were the cause of that success/failure? How will we measure progress?

What’s expected from me? (For instance, are there homework assignments?)

When do you start thinking about termination (ending the relationship), and what will that look like? (e.g. will it be a shared decision, is there a set number of visits and then review, etc)

??????? For you 

Did you feel heard by the therapist?

Did you feel like the therapist respected you?

Was the therapist condescending?

Did the therapist seem like a real person, or were they playing a role?

Was the therapist passive or active in the session? What do you like better?

Does it seem like the therapist will be open to hearing about all your feelings, including frustrated feelings relating to them?

Did the therapist have a positive outlook on life?

Did you feel better or worse after the session?

Did you feel comfortable with the therapist?

Does this seem like a safe place to express your thoughts, concerns, and feelings?

I didn’t ask all of these questions, but even thinking about them helped me realize more about what I was looking for. Good luck in your journey!



  1. I’m glad that you are feeling better after the sessions! It can be so beneficial to have that outlet!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. WillowTree says:

    Reblogged this on sunfire and thunderstorms and commented:
    I’m trying to get myself back to therapy – this should be really helpful!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I have noticed your absence and I’ve been wondering about it and hoping you’re okay. I’m so glad you’ve taken steps to feel better. It’s great that you shared this to help others 🙂 Thinking of you!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. 60while60 says:

    Not an easy post to write but you did it with honesty and sincerity. All the best.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Lor @ Lovely & Cozy ♥ says:

    I’m glad to hear you’re feeling better! I’ve also spoken to therapists in times of need, they can be a great help once you find the right one. Thanks for sharing 🙂 bless.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’ve just started seeing a new therapist specifically for my anxiety. I know it is a nerve racking experience. I really just went with my instincts on personality and straight forwardness. She is turning out to be exactly what I need. I hope you have the same experience.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. ginismycomfortfood says:

    I definitely noticed your absence! I was worried about you. I’m so glad you’re on the path towards healing 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I’m glad that things are looking up for you. You have been missed in the online community. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Sometimes we find ourselves in difficult situations. We must find ways to pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off. And this isn’t easy to do. You are doing it. And I am proud of you. Upwards and onwards.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Reblogged this on nickfounder's Blog.


  11. Great points! I’ve found that the best thing to look for in a therapist is that you click with him or her. Psychology is FAR from an exact science, so the relationship dynamic can be the most important aspect. I also tend to like the more eclectic ones that aren’t rigidly dogmatic about any one theory/perspective.

    Great post!

    – J

    Liked by 1 person

  12. worxs4kelly says:

    I too just started to go back to mine,,,, Tuesday after the week that my Mom passed away she passed away the 4th/5th at 1:06 am of July from stage 4 cancer she is at Peace now in Heaven with the *LORD + + + that’s also why I too haven’t really been around I & my family have been taken care of her here at the house & now…..were starting to get things going towards selling the house so……it for me has been busy…..her birthday would have been July 25 so…will be having some family/friends at mom/my house….so….hang in there ok-? listen if I have to hang in there then U too have to also ok-? ok,,, stay well

    Liked by 1 person

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