This is my “I know how ridiculous I am, I just don’t know what to do about it- so sue me” face.
I have no motivation to lose weight. Last week I pre-empted Weigh In Wednesday for the Five Photos, Five Stories Challenge. I wasn’t exactly sad, as I had no real update.
What I do have, is buckets of body shaming that I pour upon myself.
Here is the only step I can truly say I have taken and kept up on the last few weeks- walking more. I have a fitbit, and I have been getting more motivated to step it up 🙂 Anyone else who has a fitbit should let me know so we can compete!
Riley got out of the house the other day and I had to run after her. I absolutely could not hack it. I am so out of shape. I never got the personal trainer that I swore I needed, but I did research it last night.
The community center that is half a mile from my house offers six sessions for $210! I am definitely calling today on my lunch break, and I will post an update once I do- since I clearly can’t get myself together!
I know that is the first step and I’m so mad at myself for not taking it. Today is the day that I will stop apologizing and start doing.
Jillian
I am in my thirties, which is hard to believe. Time goes by fast. Since that is the case, I have decided to write about it. If I can't slow it down, I can at least share with others and get help along the way! 
How To Be Myself 
Two things. One – I love the hat, and two – no body shaming ever! Every journey is started with the first step. Even when I fall off of ‘the wagon’, I get right back on it by taking another first step. You’ll be fine!!
Rob
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Thanks, I love the hat too!
Second, I know it’s not okay, and I really want to be positive. I just need to keep starting over…
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I didn’t want to be all ‘preachy’, just to lend some support. 🙂 But I do sympathize, I’ve started over plenty of times!
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You’re not preachy at all 🙂 don’t worry!
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The most important thing Jillian is that you feel good about yourself. It is a tough world out there, and society places unfair expectations on people. Walking is great, no shame in that, and whatever you do, remember you are Jillian, and have great worth! 🙂
~Carl~
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Thank you so much, that does help. You also just reminded me of my plan to be my own friend. I can do that by being more kind to myself, and I also want to do it by taking care of my health 🙂
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My favorite Japanese proverb is “Fall 7 times get up 8” and of all my motto’s, that’s probably my most favorite. It reminds me to just keep going, just keep moving, and I’m proud of you for continuing to move! I have the Jawbone UP, so we can’t compete, but I was surprised at how much I moved, and yes, I tend to get up and march in place when watching TV if I’m short on steps for the day! 🙂
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That is perfect! I love it too, that’s exactly what I need.
It is funny, I also find myself doing things like power walking around the house 🙂
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I love that Japanese quote 🙂 one of my favorite quotes is from President Obama “If you’re WALKING down the right path and you’re willing to keep walking, eventually you’ll make progress.”
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That one is good, too 🙂
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What worked for me was to have a workout buddy. We inspired each other and held each other accountable. Maybe at the community center you’ll meet someone that lives nearby that will do regular workouts with you? =)
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I don’t know about strangers… Suspicious!!
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Jillian, I came across an article once and it talked about small steps. The big picture is there but to start, focus on small steps. Run a block one day then increase slowly. My motto was Slow, Steady, Strong.
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That’s my problem, I’ve always struggled with small steps. That’s why I’m trying to break it down into one thing I can do today, just to do something!
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So, it’s never going to work until you find the correct goal for yourself. Sure, you might bully yourself into eating differently and running more, and then lose a butt load of weight.
However, unless the long distance picture of yourself that you are trying to focus on is what you TRULY want to see, it won’t resonate with you and nothing you are doing will stick.
You need to work out what you want in order to be happy. You’ll probably find that it has nothing whatsoever to do with weight.
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I need a good goal then!! That’s a really good pointZ
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Personally, I would take some time out to sit down with yourself, and talk to yourself about what’s truly bothering you, and what you truly want the reality of being Jillian to mean. It’s good to filter 🙂
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Oh boy… I did that and that’s how I got my 35 Project 🙂 but I probably need to dig deeper.
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Totally. It’s all about layers. Find a truth, ground it, make it part of yourself, then check again for more truths. Rinse and repeat, until you get to place where you are at peace. Only you will know when you get there, but it’s an ongoing thing 🙂
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That’s a solid plan just on its own
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I just wanted to add to this little conversation about goal setting… I’ve been reading a book that talks about goals, and how if you aren’t making any progress on your goals, then perhaps they aren’t the right goals… but also that as you grow by working towards the original goals, that growth can change the direction that you want to take with your goals. Goals should never be written in stone. If your current goals aren’t working, the process of reviewing why your current goals aren’t working or what is stopping you from making progress on those goals can be just as beneficial, if not more, than if you were able to just simply complete the goal. Does that make any sense?
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I really like the concept that if you’re not making progress on your goals, maybe they’re not the right goals. That makes a lot of sense to me. Changing them, even if it’s just reworking them to wrap your brain around it, could change everything.
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I believe your fat shaming starts with your horrible tagline “weight in Wednesday”. It just sounds dreadful- why would you want to look forward to that each week? You need something empowering, silly, and that will make you feel good about yourself. May I suggest you do a naming contest with your readers or just get rid of this weekly task and focus on finding a healthier you (and you’re not going find that in a number on a scale!).
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Hmmmmmmmmm that did not occur to me but omg I think you’re right… I will think on that!
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What has worked for me in terms of motivation is to figure out why I want to do something…what is your motivation for losing weight? Better health? To run a 5K? A upcoming vacation? Also, make mini goals for yourself….it is easier than setting a large goal that seems so far away. Keep your chin up! And by the way, love the hat, too!
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It is for better health. And that’s he problem… That can be so hard to measure and is so long term. I need to make myself some small goals.
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